I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize