I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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