Tell her she can't have a vagina
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize