I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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