Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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