so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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