Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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