My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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