There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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