i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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