I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize