i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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