I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize