you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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