Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize