i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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