well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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