there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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