The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize