i'm signing you up for texting rehab
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize