I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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