is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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