I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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