Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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