You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize