I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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