He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
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Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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