he shaved USA in his pubs
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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