I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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