we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i've created a new STD.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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