I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
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i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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