i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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