the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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