im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize