i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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