I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The adults are the big ones right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize