we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize