and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize