in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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