I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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