Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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