The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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