well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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