just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I still have a little drunk in my system
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She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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