Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize