I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize