Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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