I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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