I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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