There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize